To Beard or Not To Beard

That is the question. I actually went several years with full beard. Since then, I've tried repeatedly to grow it back but can never quite get over the hump. This post is my way of motivating myself to stick with it, at least until Christmas so I can pretend to be Santa.

Reasons To Beard

  • It's cold outside, and beards are warm.
  • Not shaving frees up 5 minutes each day, or 30 hours a year.
  • Shaving is unnatural. If it was supposed to be shaved, it wouldn't keep growing back.
  • Bearded, I will be helping my home town remain the beardiest city in America
  • Many of my intellectual, artistic, and spiritual heroes throughout history were non-shavers (see my Beard Gallery below).
  • My 11-year old daughter wants to use my giant beard for art.
  • My beard is coming in white. This enhances my credibility in academia.

Reasons Not To Beard

  • Beards are itchy (especially during this transition from Non-Bearded to Bearded. Each time I shave it's in an itch-crazed frenzy, desperate for relief).
  • Beards attract food.
  • My beard is coming in white. This makes me look old.

Gallery of Bearded Heroes

John Muir with chest-length beard

John Muir

Henry David Thoreau with tame but thick full beard

Henry David Thoreau

Leonardo Da Vinci with long flowing hair and matching beard

Leonardo Da Vinci

Johannes Brahms with thick stately beard

Johannes Brahms

Thelonious Monk in trademark hat and beard

Thelonious Monk

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow with thoughtful hand-in-beard gaze

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Tolstoy with huge round beehive of a beard


Lincoln with his famous beard sans mustache


Jesus with long, shining, gracefully flowing hair and beard


Santa, boasting the ultimate long white beard


Thick-bearded Grizzly Adams with his bear friend Ben

Grizzly Adams

One thought on “To Beard or Not To Beard

  1. I think you already know my vote. Once you go beard, you can't go back. Plus, beards attracting food can be a positive too.