Categories
LIfe

To Beard or Not To Beard

That is the question. I actually went several years with full beard. Since then, I’ve tried repeatedly to grow it back but can never quite get over the hump. This post is my way of motivating myself to stick with it, at least until Christmas so I can pretend to be Santa.

Reasons To Beard

  • It’s cold outside, and beards are warm.
  • Not shaving frees up 5 minutes each day, or 30 hours a year.
  • Shaving is unnatural. If it was supposed to be shaved, it wouldn’t keep growing back.
  • Bearded, I will be helping my home town remain the beardiest city in America
  • Many of my intellectual, artistic, and spiritual heroes throughout history were non-shavers (see my Beard Gallery below).
  • My 11-year old daughter wants to use my giant beard for art.
  • My beard is coming in white. This enhances my credibility in academia.

Reasons Not To Beard

  • Beards are itchy (especially during this transition from Non-Bearded to Bearded. Each time I shave it’s in an itch-crazed frenzy, desperate for relief).
  • Beards attract food.
  • My beard is coming in white. This makes me look old.

Gallery of Bearded Heroes

John Muir with chest-length beard
John Muir
Henry David Thoreau with tame but thick full beard
Henry David Thoreau
Leonardo Da Vinci with long flowing hair and matching beard
Leonardo Da Vinci
Johannes Brahms with thick stately beard
Johannes Brahms
Thelonious Monk in trademark hat and beard
Thelonious Monk
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow with thoughtful hand-in-beard gaze
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tolstoy with huge round beehive of a beard
Tolstoy
Lincoln with his famous beard sans mustache
Lincoln
Jesus with long, shining, gracefully flowing hair and beard
Jesus
Santa, boasting the ultimate long white beard
Santa
Thick-bearded Grizzly Adams with his bear friend Ben
Grizzly Adams

One reply on “To Beard or Not To Beard”

I think you already know my vote. Once you go beard, you can’t go back. Plus, beards attracting food can be a positive too.

Comments are closed.